The purpose of a constellation
When you facilitate a family constellation there are many parallel goals that you are trying to achieve. In every constellation you might want to achieve several of the following goals at the same time:
- disidentifying from entanglements
- finishing unfinished business in the family
- bringing systemic order
- bringing together what was split in our consciousness
- embracing what was denied, rejected, disowned
- seeing, looking at what we avoided to see
- acknowledging what is: accepting and allowing reality, letting it in
- taking responsibility
- acknowledging guilt
- taking in who, or what was excluded
- accepting life, accepting love, accepting death, accepting fate
The above goals are not things that the client should do, but these are things that should happen in the client's family system. During the family constellation the facilitator does process work with representatives in a way that the representatives of family members authentically feel a transformation when they do take responsibility, or when they do acknowledge guilt, or when the facilitator creates systemic order in the system. This felt transformation has a direct effect on the living family members and may change the family dynamics (the interaction patterns, roles and behaviors).
Concerning acknowledging guilt, there is an important distinction between accepting guilt and feeling guilty. Accepting guilt makes strong and leads to action. Mostly action to do something good for society, without expecting that that will take the guilt away, because it never does. Guilt cannot be undone. Feeling guilty, to the contrary, does not look at the victim but only at oneself. It weakens and it does not lead to action. It is a form of avoiding to accept the guilt.
The above concepts and ideas will be further explained in the training and shown by examples in constellations.