Order and balance in families
Since the beginning of human evolution, the family has been a survival group. People are social animals and so they have ancient instincts that drive them to keep their group together, to preserve and respect a safe hierarchy and to keep balance and harmony among members. Bert Hellinger, the originator of family constellations, called the orders that need to be preserved in a group: "the orders of love". He formulated three conditions that a family must satisfy to function well:
- everyone has the right to belong
- there should be a balance of giving and taking
- those who came earlier have precedence
For example, when a child carries a burden for an earlier family member, the order is broken. Parents should take care of children, not the way around. But when parents are heavily burdened, often children take it upon themselves to care for their parents and to carry their burden for them, out of love.
You will learn in the training to recognize when these orders are disturbed, and how to bring order back in the system.